Thursday, August 21, 2014

Acknowledging growth and change

To actively go through change and growth is easy - also easily over looked.  I just experienced it just a week ago.  I have been actively making changes for almost 2 years now.  All in a positive way of course.

We had never really told anyone (in our families) about the last meeting with our fertility doctor in Louisiana (right before we moved).  It wasn't the news we wanted to hear, but it also wasn't absolute horrible news.  We knew when leaving that day, the chances of us having a child were very slim.  It hurt.  I was depressed for a good while and covered it up - even to myself with all of the stress of the move.  My mom recently asked me if we were still trying to have a baby.  Of course we were on facetime with my dad, mom, and sister Amber .... I basically told them flat out.  It was sad to say, but I didn't feel that devastated feeling in my stomach.  At the time, to be honest, I didn't really notice.  Later, as I always do, I was thinking about our conversation and then had the realization that it had happened.  Immediately I told Luis.  We then noticed our growth. While it is still painful to know the truth, we have accepted it and grown from it.

Things are going in a more positive way at the office.  My boss is doing better now that we have had a few patients.  We even had our first new patient!  I have been working on TONS of things.  Even though we have not had patients a lot of the time, I always have things to do.  Yesterday was the first day we had two patients in a day. I am not going to lie, it is a struggle to try to do all the front and the back and stay on schedule.  Not to mention, I using/learning a system I have NO experience on or training.  Once we see a few more patients I think I'll have procedures, paperwork, and the such under control.


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